I quickly replied with a flurry of emails. Although tonight, I feel a greater level of trust in my KH seeing the concern that was given towards my lack of communication.
Now... if I could just get out of this prison I find myself in.
Toward the end of my work day around 5:30 I had this uneasiness in the tube very much like when I develped a pressure sore from wearing the betl. That was after 13 days in the belt. Today is day 14.
I rushed home quickly (my commute is less than 5 minutes) and performed a quick inspection on the parts that I stll have control over and found that my problem was within the tube... much like last time. Using my squirt bottle for irrigation purposes, I washed down the parts I could get too and flushed the tube with lukewarm water. I then applied a generous daub of baby gel lotion to the inside of the tube and I must report that I have had no bad sensations since I did that. I went out to dinner and lusted over the cute bar maids telling them I was in no rush.
What a relief! Now I have to wonder how long can I go in the belt if I continue to have good luck keeping the hygiene up and tender parts from getting sore. I really would like to go back to having regular orgasms now.
I sure would like to get out of the belt for a day or so - perhaps a week????? and have a real nice substantial mind blowing earth shattering orgasm. I keep thinking back to some of the better ones I have had and the daily "eye candy" (re: porn) is driving me into a frantic state.... I must stop downloading that stuff. All for now.... I guess tonight's time on cam for my KH was trumped by the fact that I was milked last night. I was online at 6 EST with the cam ready just in case.
The juices from last night, however, are currently being held in the refrigerator - I guess for a later time.
PP (wanting relief)
I have decided that you will spend the 4th of July just staring at my picture, and thinking of why you are locked up with no control at all over your sex. You will then spend an hour writing these thoughts down and sending them to me.
When the time is appropriate, I am sure you will release the keys. I will wait.
You do not know how many hours I have gone to the keysite and stared at your picture… it helped me make the very big decision in handing my keys over to you. It is the first vision I have in the morning and the last vision I have at night. Without your directive I have the following dilemma: If I am not in the belt I spill my sperm needlessly and ignore my obligations. As you know, when I am in the belt I tend to honor my commitment and perform. When I am free, I still long to be controlled by you yet tend to be slack in my duties.
As I wrote earlier, being submissive is a huge turn-on. Submitting my ability to experience sexual satisfaction is the most intimately submissive act I can imagine. My submission to you fulfills a deep yearning within my being that I cannot explain
With you in control, you control my self pleasuring. By Experimenting with the chastity belt, I have now found a whole new world into my sexuality. When I can please someone before receiving pleasure and to expect nothing in return for giving the ultimate pleasure has a real WOW factor. Each day builds the excitement between my legs and ultimately it keeps the hope alive that there is always a “next time” where it might be my turn.
Having you control the pleasure I could possibly receive makes me want to give and give and give. Your torments only increase this desire to give more. This may sound strange but I feed off of the denial you can provide.
Currently I am at day Eight and I have never felt as horny as I have right now, even with a record 67 days of lockup. This is incredible and I do not know why. Maybe it is because for the first time I do not have any access to any emergency exit from the belt short of destroying it. I am totally dependant on you for release. Having the E-keys in the safe is horribly erotic. I am completely at your mercy. Hoping that the 4th would have been a night out and then having that thought dashed is keeping me very hard and excited…being able to "save up." for the next time is wonderful… I want you to push me as far as possible.
How I wish I could squeeze your balls in my hand until you cry in happiness for me touching you. Or maybe you would prefer for me to tie you to the bed and mount you while you are still locked in chastity, and feel me fuck that steel tube instead of your dick.
I have always had the fantasy of someone tying me down and being tormented. To be tied down while constrained in my belt and then being teased by someone fucking the metal tube would be pure bliss. Causing me pain at the same time by tightly squeezing my balls would be the most exquisite pain imaginable. Two very powerful images I am processing at the same time have caused me to fill this damn metal prison of mine again. The thought of experiencing both pain and pleasure at the same time is almost causing me to well up in tears right now. I would be weeping in happiness for you if became reality
I need to be controlled. If left unfettered I would ignore you devoting my energy and thoughts to my penis. The gratification would be fleeting and unfulfilling on my part and you would end up being ignored. This way, by me being imprisoned, those energy channels are yours to enjoy, accept and control. I would assume this exchange of energy is something you are enjoying and cherishing as much as I am enjoying giving it to you. The deeper I go into submissiveness, I would hope you rise in assertiveness and dominance.
Think of why you are locked up with no control at all over your sex.
I chose to be locked up. I did it of my own free will by putting the keys (along with the E-keys) in the safe and locking the door. I must be controlled in this fashion because of my masturbatory habits I acquired at puberty and the fact that I have no self control over this aspect of my life. Although it is very frustrating not to have control over my sex, I accept the fact that I cannot have that control in MY hands if I want to explore my sexuality and my submissiveness entirely.
Confinement and the feeling of being on edge is very exciting. Maybe tooooo much so. But the horniness factor is quite fun if kept unsatisfied. The fact that I cannot make love to a woman with my penis is also intriguing. I have become much more adept at oral stimulation and more in tune with the tactile sensation of my hands, tongue, body and eyelids…. I have found flicking my eyelashes on my partners nipples can be quite the treat.
Much like a blind person transitions the sense of sight to other senses, I believe the erotic sensations of the stroked penis are being transferred to other erogenous zones. Without the ability to touch my member, I find that my nipples are much more sensitive to the slightest sensation, my belly button can cause me to gasp in almost pre orgasmic delight and then there are the wonderful sensations cause by playing with my anus, prostate and seminal ducts. Having a milking experience with or with out an anal orgasm is worth the lock up. Without being locked up I would never have experienced anal orgasms. Being locked up, I look forward to them.
When I am locked up I am much more sensual. I like to explore the feminine side of my being. I believe gender is a continuum from female to male and very few people get to explore all aspects. I am one of those lucky few. If I am forced to one end of the spectrum while locked up it triggers great excitement. For example – The CS100 causes a great bulge in my pants…. Throw on a thong and I become an extremely well hung stud ready to take on the world. Confine my penis by tucking it into a tight panty girdle with matching panties, bra, stockings, heels, makeup and a sexy dress makes me very vulnerable. Both ends of the spectrum can be experienced with great delight. I prefer the feminine side a lot.
The entire time I want you to think about the stud that I will have with me, the entire day, fucking and cuddling, and caressing each others naked bodies, and then having my girlfriends husband who is being trained as a cuckold eat me out with all my studs hot creamy cum in my pussy and my ass. And then I want to hear a voice recording thanking me for keeping you locked up and telling me why you need to kept control of.
I was thrilled with the fact that you are sharing my chastity experience with your stud and girlfriends. Until now, I believed that my chastity and the experience with you were kept private. It excites me that you have increased the circle to include your girlfriends and possibly a man. WOW. I could think of numerous fantasies where I would be in the orgy of naked bodies, fucking and cuddling and caressing scenarios with cream filled pussy and naked asses.
The voice recording will be a reading of this file and I will send it to you… A transcript will be posted on the blog site file.
Thank you for keeping me locked up – I need the control you provide and for all of the reasons I have just mentioned. Of course you know that I am very much frustrated wearing the chastity belt, however, I want you to know that I abide by your determination into what is correct or appropriate for me.
Each day I become more proud to wear my CB under your direction.
There was no posting last night because I kept my conversation private with my KH. I gave all of the details to a movied I downloaded scene by scene and my excitement level... The fever pitch of the video may have killed this blog in the minds of the blog police... so it was for my KH's eyes only.
Tonight I viewed movie number two.... This is a torment I can scarcely endure.... but I have no choice.
I am negotiating a release to adjust the belt to a smaller waist size. Having lost many pounds I need to cut the metal band and drill another hole in the belt therby trimming the waist dimension. I am soooo happy having lost a bunch of pounds and I hope my KH will help control my waistline as well as my orgasms.
I am also taking a much more pro-active approach towards chafing and irritation within the belt. Every morning I apply diaper rash ointment and gels to the the tube to alleviate the problems I had last time... so far everything is wonderful coming up to the one week mark and no problems to report.